[ Of course he would. He's Jeremy. He's compassionate and he's good, and there isn't anyone that understands like he does. He's not an angel of death like she is, and he understands it so well, and there's something painful at remembering why he'd understand the way he does, all he's lost.
It hurts to lose. Every time, it doesn't change. If Dylan dies, it'll hurt like it hurt with Elizabeth. There's a part of her that wants to fight it, that wants to refuse to accept the possibility, and there's the other side of her that understands. This is her choice, it's the only thing she can live with, and you have to let them go.
There always seems to be less of you once you do.
There is a quiet, subdued grin when his hand traces her mouth. ]
... You would?
[ She had been joking, hadn't meant to take it seriously, but the idea is strangely appealing. Letting one's self go, fall, without the bottom dropping out.
Sarah feels it, too. Almost instantly. She can tell when the angel quiets, when it retreats, and she takes another small breath, arms tightening their hold against his neck because it's all these things she loves that keep her human, that remind her she's alive when everything else is just death, it's losing, it's reminders that things always, always end and it's a hollow place.
Then she sees his face, and he smiles at her, or kisses her like he does now, and it's like inviting the warmth back in. She remembers she's alive. ]
I'll try not to. I'm getting better at it, I think.
[ It's spoken barely above a whisper. It's not that simple, no, and it's just as easy to imagine him dying, imagine him in the hollow place.
And so she holds on tighter. She kisses him fully when he brings her in again, does not hold back, does not think to.
And she remembers they're somewhere else. ]
That's... that's horrible. I believe you when you say he has, and I still plan being careful around him, but that just--[ She literally does not have words for it. It's even more amazing to her, Elena and Jeremy not only still talking to Damon but trusting him with what they do.
At the same time, it doesn't really surprise her. It's who they are. ] He didn't... he had nothing to do with the second time, did he?
[ Tears prick at her own eyes, and her hands slip up and down his neck, as if also reassuring. She doesn't want to picture it but she can, she can picture him dying because he did, and a tear finally slides down her cheek when he looks down, because it hadn't ever registered just how much he does. Understand.
And she laughs almost disbelievingly, brokenly, because of what he says, it is such a Jeremy thing to say, and she thinks she loves him a bit more. She shakes her head, blinking back the tears.] If it meant you didn't have to, you hadn't had to, I would want to. It's what I'm meant to do, even if it takes from me. I think if ... it means I can understand at least a little, I'm more okay with it, too.
[ It's not the same. He is not an angel built to come back from death, which explains the weirdness, but when put into that perspective, it's easier to understand, and she has felt the same. It's not exactly the same every time. It varies with every death, some are violent and fast and some are violent and long and some are peaceful and sweet but in Chicago those are rare. ] Because we end up... back here, and that's better for me.
[action]
It hurts to lose. Every time, it doesn't change. If Dylan dies, it'll hurt like it hurt with Elizabeth. There's a part of her that wants to fight it, that wants to refuse to accept the possibility, and there's the other side of her that understands. This is her choice, it's the only thing she can live with, and you have to let them go.
There always seems to be less of you once you do.
There is a quiet, subdued grin when his hand traces her mouth. ]
... You would?
[ She had been joking, hadn't meant to take it seriously, but the idea is strangely appealing. Letting one's self go, fall, without the bottom dropping out.
Sarah feels it, too. Almost instantly. She can tell when the angel quiets, when it retreats, and she takes another small breath, arms tightening their hold against his neck because it's all these things she loves that keep her human, that remind her she's alive when everything else is just death, it's losing, it's reminders that things always, always end and it's a hollow place.
Then she sees his face, and he smiles at her, or kisses her like he does now, and it's like inviting the warmth back in. She remembers she's alive. ]
I'll try not to. I'm getting better at it, I think.
[ It's spoken barely above a whisper. It's not that simple, no, and it's just as easy to imagine him dying, imagine him in the hollow place.
And so she holds on tighter. She kisses him fully when he brings her in again, does not hold back, does not think to.
And she remembers they're somewhere else. ]
That's... that's horrible. I believe you when you say he has, and I still plan being careful around him, but that just--[ She literally does not have words for it. It's even more amazing to her, Elena and Jeremy not only still talking to Damon but trusting him with what they do.
At the same time, it doesn't really surprise her. It's who they are. ] He didn't... he had nothing to do with the second time, did he?
[ Tears prick at her own eyes, and her hands slip up and down his neck, as if also reassuring. She doesn't want to picture it but she can, she can picture him dying because he did, and a tear finally slides down her cheek when he looks down, because it hadn't ever registered just how much he does. Understand.
And she laughs almost disbelievingly, brokenly, because of what he says, it is such a Jeremy thing to say, and she thinks she loves him a bit more. She shakes her head, blinking back the tears.] If it meant you didn't have to, you hadn't had to, I would want to. It's what I'm meant to do, even if it takes from me. I think if ... it means I can understand at least a little, I'm more okay with it, too.
[ It's not the same. He is not an angel built to come back from death, which explains the weirdness, but when put into that perspective, it's easier to understand, and she has felt the same. It's not exactly the same every time. It varies with every death, some are violent and fast and some are violent and long and some are peaceful and sweet but in Chicago those are rare. ] Because we end up... back here, and that's better for me.