[ His hand slides across her face, and he knows that this doesn’t fix anything. It’s her father. He should love her and know her. She isn’t easy to leave behind, never.] Maybe you will at some point, but it’s… okay you don’t feel it yet.
[It’s okay, and someday she will, but she doesn’t have to right now. He spent so much time numb that he’ll never try to make someone else try to feel something before they’re ready to do it.
She does do good. Jeremy is card of her moving into the Tower, much as he figured she would, but she already does good and she’ll do more.]
If anyone could have a bunch of minions, it’d be you.
[Minions of the ghosts or anything else, but he’s smirking at her since obviously she wouldn’t have actual minions.
He breaks into a smile of his own that matches hers when she gives it to him, and Jeremy leans in to press a kiss against her lips. It’s the best Christmas gift for him, and he’l be happy to have her.]
Okay. [Jeremy says in agreement and then he looks sideways at her, shaking his head.]
You don’t have to thank me. All sorts of things go hand in hand with loving and knowing you.
[ Jeremy already helps in so many different ways, more than she can say.
And since the night Elizabeth and Josef died, it honestly hasn't gotten anywhere near that bad, anywhere near that close of a call. He took care of her, went to lengths to get her address to check up on her even before they became as close as they did. And she'll never forget that, how he and Martha and Elena looked after her.
Without having that, if she'd have just stayed in this empty house by herself instead, she doesn't know what would've happened.
Doesn't really want to imagine it, either.
She's been able to pull through from that experience, and it's been in large part because of him, because of how he understands, doesn't judge or expect her to be someone she's not. ]
I know. I mean, I've had bad dreams of my own since... you know. Maybe it's something we can only finish dealing with subconsciously, while the rest of us moves on. I can't really be sure. [ Sarah smiles back at him, a hand over his heart. ] I will get back to you. We'll figure this out, Jeremy, if there's something to figure out.
[ Maybe it really is what he says. Just so much bad stuff happening his brain still needs to process. Maybe it's his being brought back twice and falling through the Rift so shortly after. There's no way to be sure but she won't leave him alone with it. The love she feels for him stems beyond the platonic but being his best friend always comes first to that.
Because even then she knew that he needed that more. The way she needed it more, too.
A friend. A constant. ]
Oh. Then never mind. [ She wrinkles her nose, but she grins a little when he laughs, since she likes hearing him laugh. Life can such a lot of the time--okay, most of the time--but they should get to laugh. ] Hey, you've been angry on my behalf plenty of times. Just consider this the tipping of the scales.
[ But she knows what he means, and she's not going to do anything impulsive or rash about it, will try very hard not to. She just can't help it, either.
And she looks up at him when he agrees it makes him angry also, and she steps forward again, small arms winding around his middle for a tight hug. She's seen firsthand the anger, what it can lead to, what it means for him, but she's still here, too. It's okay to be angry sometimes, she said to him once, unless it consumes.
She still needs her anger. ]
I've heard that, too. I've seen it but it never really gets easier. It doesn't always change you for worse, though. I've seen a lot of people become stronger, too. [ It comes at a very heavy price but she wants to believe not all the changes can lead down that road, doesn't want to think of any of them becoming someone they wouldn't recognize.
Becoming the monsters that sometimes win. ]
I did. I could give you lessons sometime. It's not always you're going to get a girl offering to teach you about big swords, Jeremy.
[ She is clearly still teasing, because she likes that fond smile on his face, the way he ducks his head sometimes, still capable of the emotion that leads to the gesture.
Sarah releases a breath, turning sideways to face him, a hand slipping to rest over his at her stomach. On the same vein, she couldn't understand exactly his kind of loss. To get to know his parents, to have that relationship with them, and then lose them. But a loss is a loss, and they don't have to experience the exact same things to be understanding, to not be alone with it.
She is still looking up, over at the collage, but once he blocks it from view, she's looking right up at him, and swallows. The words reach her, right in the chest, and she places her hands on either of his arms while he's above her. ]
We've talked about this. You're my best friend. You kind of have to say these things.
[ But they stay with her, the words, and she smiles at him, a little bit vulnerably, before she leans up to him to rest her mouth against his.
And maybe she will. Maybe it'll remain in that icy part of her that doesn't do anything but give to the coldness, or maybe it'll all come to a head. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise right now that she can't. She does know if anything does happen, she can come to him. She always seems to. ]
It is one of my many talents. Just don't go around telling anyone, least of all those that already live there. I would like the element of surprise.
[ Sarah levels a smirk right back at him, but it shifts quickly into a smile when he returns it so earnestly. She leans in when he does, hands framing either side of his face to kiss him back. When it ends, she remains close enough to rest her forehead against his, and it hits her. ]
I love you. Too. [ Her fingers gently trace his mouth after he's kissed her.
He'd said it before and in her concern over making sure Jeremy was okay, she hadn't stopped long enough to say it back. And she knows she doesn't need to do that, either, but she wants to, because it's true. Amidst many things she knows aren't real, aren't true, there's that one truth and she holds onto it. For as long as she can, for as long as she's allowed. ]
And I know I don't have to but I want to. Most of all, I'm just... grateful I get to stay.
[Jeremy knows that he does help, and he’s glad that he does, because he love her and he wants to be able to help her if he can.
She needed help at that time, and he’s glad that he didn’t wait around, that he went and broke into the school records to find her address. Somehow without knowing, he knew. Maybe it was just his habit of jumping to the worst conclusions, because the worst conclusions tended to be right. He knew that something had happened, and there was really nowhere else in Chicago that he should be.
He didn’t waste any time after that, and he found her on the street and then took her back to his home as soon as he could.
Jeremy still remembers what it was like to find her there. He’ll never forget. It’ll stay with him.]
Yeah, I know. I think it’s just something that happens maybe even after you’ve dealt with it. It’s your brains way of… processing everything while your body rests. I don’t really know either. [Jeremy admits though he smiles back at her, slipping his own hand over the hand of hers that rests against his heart.] Got it. You’re right. We will figure it out.
[If there’s anything to figure out. Either that or it will pop up when they all least expect it, the answers, the truth to whatever it is and whatever it means. There’s not a lot that they can do about it right now though when it’s just dream and this sometimes feeling of offness.
They won’t leave each other alone with anything, not through whatever comes ahead and there’s no way to tell now what will come ahead.
But a friend, a constant. There’s the something more, but that’s not what it’s all based on and that makes such a difference.
And he laughs gently at the nose wrinkling.] It’s cool. I mean I want you to be honest about it, but it doesn’t help much knowing you’re pissed even if there’s a whole lot to be pissed about. [An endless list, he smirks back at her after the laughter fades.] Yeah, that’s… true. I guess I can let you have a turn this time. I’m pretty generous sometimes.
[They can’t help their emotions, and Jeremy knows that very intimately. If they could, life would be a lot different. It wouldn’t be worth much at all if someone could turn off and on their feelings mechanically, whenever they wanted.
She has seen what becomes of him, the aftermath of his anger. It’s not pretty. It lead to him getting his ass kicked worse than he ever had before. If Alek hadn’t been with him, he would have come out of it needing a trip to the hospital.
But they’re both still here. Anger is necessary sometimes. It’s better than numbness. It keeps them on their feet. It keeps them fighting.]
I think I might have to take you up on those lessons. Yeah, I know. Very rare. Wouldn’t be good of me to like… squander it or something.
[There’s a small smile on his face, because he’s trying to sound like an adult might about an Opportunity Given though it does actually sound pretty awesome. He never really thought about fencing before, but it wasn’t really in the circles where he lived before. The Gilberts were well off, but they weren’t exactly high society either.
Jeremy looks at her, openly, and with fondness. They may not know what it is like to experience that specific kind of loss, but they are both so familiar with loss. Loss I a los, and there’s so much of it in this city.
He looks down at her as she looks up at him, seeing her swallow, seeing the words hit. Jeremy’s grateful that they do seem to hit, and he smirk at what she says, shaking his head.]
I don’t have to. I think we’ve talked about this too, Sarah. I’m your best friend so I know you best.
[It’s still her father, and he knows that the fact that she was so easily left by him will stay with her. It should, but he hopes his words do too, hopes they can combat those feelings that being abandoned may have left her with.
Jeremy leans down to capture her mouth with his own when she leans up. He smiles against her lips, one hand cupping the side of her face before she pulls back and he moves in turn to the side of her again.]
Don’t worry, Sarah. It’ll be a secret with me. I promise you that. Anyone else that wants to know about your many talents will have to learn about them for themselves.
[Jeremy smiles faintly, forehead resting against hers as he takes in a long breath that centers him, makes him feel more whole. He feels it too. It hits him too when she says those words back to him.
He’s known for a long time, but it’s something different being able to say the words, haring them in turn. Jeremy’d been so caught up in his own concern when she was making sure he was okay that he’d missed hearing it that first time himself.]
I’m…
I’m really, really grateful too. That's... kind of putting it lightly, but yeah. [he still remembers the strength of the fear that shot through him when he thought she’d have to move. His hand rests against her hand, and he links their fingers together.] C'mon, I'll help you pack. I brought my car so it'll be easier to transport anything you need.
[ Sarah isn't going to be forgetting that night any time soon.
She won't be forgetting at all. Time has an inexplicable way of making things seem farther away and closer than ever before, both at the same time. Sarah wakes up every day, and she feels both closer and farther to that night than she ever did when it actually happened. It can feel like it happened just yesterday on some days and it can feel like it happened years ago on others.
It's still not something she is ever going to forget.
A big part of her unwillingness to bend to rules anymore, a big part of her ability to finally stand up to her father comes with knowing what they do, and the life that they took.
She vowed Elizabeth's death would not be in vain, and as long as she's alive, she is going to do everything within her power so that that remains true. ]
Wonderful! We can both be equally clueless together. [ The smile widens a little, before it softens back into a more serious expression, and she looks back down at their hands while they rest over his heart. There's the faint drumming of his heartbeat, a murmur against her palm, one more piece of evidence he is very much alive. It's the only guarantee that there's ever been, and ever will be.
There's the here and the now.
Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come, and in Chicago, you either learn to live your life that way or prepare yourself for the day it comes true. And it'll come true again and again and again. There won't come a day she won't invite death in. There won't come a day the reminder of loss doesn't smack her in the face.
But if she doesn't learn to live with it, she'll make herself lose what she does have, for what little time she can have it, because self-sabotage is something she excels in without knowing it. Then she would end up alone, and it'd be all her fault.
And maybe that's worse. ] I... know. I was mostly teasing. I know none of it is really going to help right now. [ She presses her lips together, glancing back out the window for a moment. There is something about being in this room that is both a sanctuary and terrible, and she has grown so accustomed to it, doesn't balk at dichotomy, having struggled with enough contradicting emotions to learn to grapple with them.
It's the one thing she really did like about this house. The view from her window. Do the rooms in the Towers even have windows? She hasn't checked, and even if they did, they wouldn't--it wouldn't look like this, and that's the most pointless thing to linger on but she does, she likes this view, she likes how the sky looks from her window.
What was her window. It was all once hers and now none of it is hers.
Nothing is really hers, and there's that adrift feeling she has to shove past again. ]
I wouldn't advise you to, no. Rest assured, Mr. Gilbert, I'll give you private lessons.
[ Sarah smiles back, knowing full well what he was trying to sound like, but she wouldn't have wanted him to be in those circles. They tend to be filled with snobby people focused on vanities. She doesn't want to generalize, is aware not everyone was like that, but it felt like a great deal of them were, and it was all so hollow and superficial, she couldn't stand it.
She would take being a homeless orphan over living the high society life Sherri and Brooke do any. Day. Of the week.
I'm your best friend so I know best.
There's laughter bubbling up her throat, quiet but earnest. ]
[Sarah stifles back that ridiculous urge to cry when he smiles against her lips. Her hands frame either side of his face lightly, and she smiles back, past the stinging in her eyes, shifting back in place when he moves to her side again. She doesn't look back out the window. She looks at him, fondly, this very beautiful boy that reminds her of loss and fire and Ferris Wheels. ]
Thank you, Jeremy. I appreciate this duplicity of yours. I hadn't seen that side of you but it's strangely appealing.
[ Her eyes close by their own volition when she feels his forehead rest against hers. Sarah rests her lips against the corner of his mouth and says it again. I love you. There is no way to stress enough just how little of a guarantee anything is with her, unless it's messy and mad and something of a wreck, but at least she can say with full honesty that has always been true, will always be true.
Sarah's eyes close, and she breathes, breathes, breathes, and finds herself centered, too.
Until he mentions transport, and her hand tightens in his for a moment, almost as if stopping him from moving. Panic lodges up her throat and there's a moment where she just wants to back away, back into a corner, not move, not do anything, but she knows she has to. There are times when you can't just stay as you are, and you have to move forward, take just what you need, and be on your way.
Sarah bites the insides of her cheeks. ] Okay. I don't--I don't have much left to pack.
[ Her grip on his fingers lessens but she stands from the bed, legs shaky, and somehow, she ends up placing the rest of her belongings in boxes until the room is empty.
It's empty, and she doesn't cry when she turns the light off and shuts the door and they leave the mansion, once and for all.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(unsure)
[It’s okay, and someday she will, but she doesn’t have to right now. He spent so much time numb that he’ll never try to make someone else try to feel something before they’re ready to do it.
She does do good. Jeremy is card of her moving into the Tower, much as he figured she would, but she already does good and she’ll do more.]
If anyone could have a bunch of minions, it’d be you.
[Minions of the ghosts or anything else, but he’s smirking at her since obviously she wouldn’t have actual minions.
He breaks into a smile of his own that matches hers when she gives it to him, and Jeremy leans in to press a kiss against her lips. It’s the best Christmas gift for him, and he’l be happy to have her.]
Okay. [Jeremy says in agreement and then he looks sideways at her, shaking his head.]
You don’t have to thank me. All sorts of things go hand in hand with loving and knowing you.
LMAO that's what she saaaaaaaaaid
And since the night Elizabeth and Josef died, it honestly hasn't gotten anywhere near that bad, anywhere near that close of a call. He took care of her, went to lengths to get her address to check up on her even before they became as close as they did. And she'll never forget that, how he and Martha and Elena looked after her.
Without having that, if she'd have just stayed in this empty house by herself instead, she doesn't know what would've happened.
Doesn't really want to imagine it, either.
She's been able to pull through from that experience, and it's been in large part because of him, because of how he understands, doesn't judge or expect her to be someone she's not. ]
I know. I mean, I've had bad dreams of my own since... you know. Maybe it's something we can only finish dealing with subconsciously, while the rest of us moves on. I can't really be sure. [ Sarah smiles back at him, a hand over his heart. ] I will get back to you. We'll figure this out, Jeremy, if there's something to figure out.
[ Maybe it really is what he says. Just so much bad stuff happening his brain still needs to process. Maybe it's his being brought back twice and falling through the Rift so shortly after. There's no way to be sure but she won't leave him alone with it. The love she feels for him stems beyond the platonic but being his best friend always comes first to that.
Because even then she knew that he needed that more. The way she needed it more, too.
A friend. A constant. ]
Oh. Then never mind. [ She wrinkles her nose, but she grins a little when he laughs, since she likes hearing him laugh. Life can such a lot of the time--okay, most of the time--but they should get to laugh. ] Hey, you've been angry on my behalf plenty of times. Just consider this the tipping of the scales.
[ But she knows what he means, and she's not going to do anything impulsive or rash about it, will try very hard not to. She just can't help it, either.
And she looks up at him when he agrees it makes him angry also, and she steps forward again, small arms winding around his middle for a tight hug. She's seen firsthand the anger, what it can lead to, what it means for him, but she's still here, too. It's okay to be angry sometimes, she said to him once, unless it consumes.
She still needs her anger. ]
I've heard that, too. I've seen it but it never really gets easier. It doesn't always change you for worse, though. I've seen a lot of people become stronger, too. [ It comes at a very heavy price but she wants to believe not all the changes can lead down that road, doesn't want to think of any of them becoming someone they wouldn't recognize.
Becoming the monsters that sometimes win. ]
I did. I could give you lessons sometime. It's not always you're going to get a girl offering to teach you about big swords, Jeremy.
[ She is clearly still teasing, because she likes that fond smile on his face, the way he ducks his head sometimes, still capable of the emotion that leads to the gesture.
Sarah releases a breath, turning sideways to face him, a hand slipping to rest over his at her stomach. On the same vein, she couldn't understand exactly his kind of loss. To get to know his parents, to have that relationship with them, and then lose them. But a loss is a loss, and they don't have to experience the exact same things to be understanding, to not be alone with it.
She is still looking up, over at the collage, but once he blocks it from view, she's looking right up at him, and swallows. The words reach her, right in the chest, and she places her hands on either of his arms while he's above her. ]
c:
[ But they stay with her, the words, and she smiles at him, a little bit vulnerably, before she leans up to him to rest her mouth against his.
And maybe she will. Maybe it'll remain in that icy part of her that doesn't do anything but give to the coldness, or maybe it'll all come to a head. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise right now that she can't. She does know if anything does happen, she can come to him. She always seems to. ]
It is one of my many talents. Just don't go around telling anyone, least of all those that already live there. I would like the element of surprise.
[ Sarah levels a smirk right back at him, but it shifts quickly into a smile when he returns it so earnestly. She leans in when he does, hands framing either side of his face to kiss him back. When it ends, she remains close enough to rest her forehead against his, and it hits her. ]
I love you. Too. [ Her fingers gently trace his mouth after he's kissed her.
He'd said it before and in her concern over making sure Jeremy was okay, she hadn't stopped long enough to say it back. And she knows she doesn't need to do that, either, but she wants to, because it's true. Amidst many things she knows aren't real, aren't true, there's that one truth and she holds onto it. For as long as she can, for as long as she's allowed. ]
And I know I don't have to but I want to. Most of all, I'm just... grateful I get to stay.
jrkl;a LMFAO I should have known :x
She needed help at that time, and he’s glad that he didn’t wait around, that he went and broke into the school records to find her address. Somehow without knowing, he knew. Maybe it was just his habit of jumping to the worst conclusions, because the worst conclusions tended to be right. He knew that something had happened, and there was really nowhere else in Chicago that he should be.
He didn’t waste any time after that, and he found her on the street and then took her back to his home as soon as he could.
Jeremy still remembers what it was like to find her there. He’ll never forget. It’ll stay with him.]
Yeah, I know. I think it’s just something that happens maybe even after you’ve dealt with it. It’s your brains way of… processing everything while your body rests. I don’t really know either. [Jeremy admits though he smiles back at her, slipping his own hand over the hand of hers that rests against his heart.] Got it. You’re right. We will figure it out.
[If there’s anything to figure out. Either that or it will pop up when they all least expect it, the answers, the truth to whatever it is and whatever it means. There’s not a lot that they can do about it right now though when it’s just dream and this sometimes feeling of offness.
They won’t leave each other alone with anything, not through whatever comes ahead and there’s no way to tell now what will come ahead.
But a friend, a constant. There’s the something more, but that’s not what it’s all based on and that makes such a difference.
And he laughs gently at the nose wrinkling.] It’s cool. I mean I want you to be honest about it, but it doesn’t help much knowing you’re pissed even if there’s a whole lot to be pissed about. [An endless list, he smirks back at her after the laughter fades.] Yeah, that’s… true. I guess I can let you have a turn this time. I’m pretty generous sometimes.
[They can’t help their emotions, and Jeremy knows that very intimately. If they could, life would be a lot different. It wouldn’t be worth much at all if someone could turn off and on their feelings mechanically, whenever they wanted.
She has seen what becomes of him, the aftermath of his anger. It’s not pretty. It lead to him getting his ass kicked worse than he ever had before. If Alek hadn’t been with him, he would have come out of it needing a trip to the hospital.
But they’re both still here. Anger is necessary sometimes. It’s better than numbness. It keeps them on their feet. It keeps them fighting.]
I think I might have to take you up on those lessons. Yeah, I know. Very rare. Wouldn’t be good of me to like… squander it or something.
[There’s a small smile on his face, because he’s trying to sound like an adult might about an Opportunity Given though it does actually sound pretty awesome. He never really thought about fencing before, but it wasn’t really in the circles where he lived before. The Gilberts were well off, but they weren’t exactly high society either.
Jeremy looks at her, openly, and with fondness. They may not know what it is like to experience that specific kind of loss, but they are both so familiar with loss. Loss I a los, and there’s so much of it in this city.
He looks down at her as she looks up at him, seeing her swallow, seeing the words hit. Jeremy’s grateful that they do seem to hit, and he smirk at what she says, shaking his head.]
rkjl;a ;;
I don’t have to. I think we’ve talked about this too, Sarah. I’m your best friend so I know you best.
[It’s still her father, and he knows that the fact that she was so easily left by him will stay with her. It should, but he hopes his words do too, hopes they can combat those feelings that being abandoned may have left her with.
Jeremy leans down to capture her mouth with his own when she leans up. He smiles against her lips, one hand cupping the side of her face before she pulls back and he moves in turn to the side of her again.]
Don’t worry, Sarah. It’ll be a secret with me. I promise you that. Anyone else that wants to know about your many talents will have to learn about them for themselves.
[Jeremy smiles faintly, forehead resting against hers as he takes in a long breath that centers him, makes him feel more whole. He feels it too. It hits him too when she says those words back to him.
He’s known for a long time, but it’s something different being able to say the words, haring them in turn. Jeremy’d been so caught up in his own concern when she was making sure he was okay that he’d missed hearing it that first time himself.]
I’m…
I’m really, really grateful too. That's... kind of putting it lightly, but yeah. [he still remembers the strength of the fear that shot through him when he thought she’d have to move. His hand rests against her hand, and he links their fingers together.] C'mon, I'll help you pack. I brought my car so it'll be easier to transport anything you need.
no subject
She won't be forgetting at all. Time has an inexplicable way of making things seem farther away and closer than ever before, both at the same time. Sarah wakes up every day, and she feels both closer and farther to that night than she ever did when it actually happened. It can feel like it happened just yesterday on some days and it can feel like it happened years ago on others.
It's still not something she is ever going to forget.
A big part of her unwillingness to bend to rules anymore, a big part of her ability to finally stand up to her father comes with knowing what they do, and the life that they took.
She vowed Elizabeth's death would not be in vain, and as long as she's alive, she is going to do everything within her power so that that remains true. ]
Wonderful! We can both be equally clueless together. [ The smile widens a little, before it softens back into a more serious expression, and she looks back down at their hands while they rest over his heart. There's the faint drumming of his heartbeat, a murmur against her palm, one more piece of evidence he is very much alive. It's the only guarantee that there's ever been, and ever will be.
There's the here and the now.
Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come, and in Chicago, you either learn to live your life that way or prepare yourself for the day it comes true. And it'll come true again and again and again. There won't come a day she won't invite death in. There won't come a day the reminder of loss doesn't smack her in the face.
But if she doesn't learn to live with it, she'll make herself lose what she does have, for what little time she can have it, because self-sabotage is something she excels in without knowing it. Then she would end up alone, and it'd be all her fault.
And maybe that's worse. ] I... know. I was mostly teasing. I know none of it is really going to help right now. [ She presses her lips together, glancing back out the window for a moment. There is something about being in this room that is both a sanctuary and terrible, and she has grown so accustomed to it, doesn't balk at dichotomy, having struggled with enough contradicting emotions to learn to grapple with them.
It's the one thing she really did like about this house. The view from her window. Do the rooms in the Towers even have windows? She hasn't checked, and even if they did, they wouldn't--it wouldn't look like this, and that's the most pointless thing to linger on but she does, she likes this view, she likes how the sky looks from her window.
What was her window. It was all once hers and now none of it is hers.
Nothing is really hers, and there's that adrift feeling she has to shove past again. ]
I wouldn't advise you to, no. Rest assured, Mr. Gilbert, I'll give you private lessons.
[ Sarah smiles back, knowing full well what he was trying to sound like, but she wouldn't have wanted him to be in those circles. They tend to be filled with snobby people focused on vanities. She doesn't want to generalize, is aware not everyone was like that, but it felt like a great deal of them were, and it was all so hollow and superficial, she couldn't stand it.
She would take being a homeless orphan over living the high society life Sherri and Brooke do any. Day. Of the week.
I'm your best friend so I know best.
There's laughter bubbling up her throat, quiet but earnest. ]
Okay. I won't argue. Not about this matter.
no subject
Thank you, Jeremy. I appreciate this duplicity of yours. I hadn't seen that side of you but it's strangely appealing.
[ Her eyes close by their own volition when she feels his forehead rest against hers. Sarah rests her lips against the corner of his mouth and says it again. I love you. There is no way to stress enough just how little of a guarantee anything is with her, unless it's messy and mad and something of a wreck, but at least she can say with full honesty that has always been true, will always be true.
Sarah's eyes close, and she breathes, breathes, breathes, and finds herself centered, too.
Until he mentions transport, and her hand tightens in his for a moment, almost as if stopping him from moving. Panic lodges up her throat and there's a moment where she just wants to back away, back into a corner, not move, not do anything, but she knows she has to. There are times when you can't just stay as you are, and you have to move forward, take just what you need, and be on your way.
Sarah bites the insides of her cheeks. ] Okay. I don't--I don't have much left to pack.
[ Her grip on his fingers lessens but she stands from the bed, legs shaky, and somehow, she ends up placing the rest of her belongings in boxes until the room is empty.
It's empty, and she doesn't cry when she turns the light off and shuts the door and they leave the mansion, once and for all.
She's good at goodbyes. ]